Lose The Toxic To Find Your Happiness
Why are you holding on to the toxic people in your life?
It might be because of obligation or expectation, like family. Perhaps you don’t have a choice, such as work colleagues. Or maybe you’re holding onto the past that no longer exists today, like long term friendships.
So how do you recognise a toxic relationship or person?
They treat you badly
They gossip or bitch about you
They create drama
They use sarcasm, or are very controlling
You just have a gut feeling that you can’t trust them
I’ve experienced toxic relationships in my life - in friendships, colleagues and even in my own family. This led to stress, anxiety, self doubt, sleeplessness, anger, confusion, and me not being my true authentic self.
Does that sound familiar?
People or relationships in our lives can become toxic for many reasons... disagreements, jealousy, conflict, or just because people change. Lives and priorities change. Everyone is on their own journey, learning their own lessons.
It doesn’t matter what the reason is though.
You deserve better.
But the big lightbulb here is that you’re probably spending SO much of your energy thinking and getting all riled up about that person - yet ironically they’re probably not thinking about you at all.
The secret is that you DO have the choice not to engage anymore.
The first step is to have an open and adult conversation with them about the impact they are having. It's also an opportunity to talk about how you’d like your relationship to keep moving forward.
If this doesn't work, or is not appropriate for you to do, then try the following steps:
Reduce or avoid interacting with them where possible
When you do need to interact, stay focused on your purpose, put on a BIG smile and leave the emotion out of it
Use energy clearing visualisations or mediation
Exercise to burn off the emotional energy and stress
Use experts to help you if needed - kinesiology, coaching, counsellors, personal trainer
Write them a letter outlining how they have impacted you and what you’d really love to say to them - and then burn it (safely!)
Be mindful of your thoughts and words. If you find yourself falling into old patterns, stay self aware to replace them with a positive thought or action instead
Ask if they're OK or if they need help - sometimes their drama might be a cry for help
When you start to let go of the toxic people out of your life, you might also experience feelings of grief. Letting go of the old friendship, the old connection, and your memories can be a sad process.
But I can tell you from my own experience that you will feel less stressed and more free. Life will become calmer and happier as a result.
Don't carry the negative energy with you. Find healthy ways to release it, send them love, and move on.
Life's too short to spend it on toxic people who are not worth your valuable time, beautiful.
You have a right to live a healthy, happy, drama-free life. Declutter your relationships and reclaim your energy!